Here is a collection of quotes from some of my all-time favourite songs:

on

He didn’t care.

-2-

Now, I could have said a prayer, or a good old fashioned “Thank you.” That
would have been fine. But there are circumstances in which it isn’t a good
idea to pray.

He’s sinking, and there’s no way to fight it. And you know the rest. His
bones will turn to dust, and we’re gone. Forever.

I don’t care if it’s “The Lord’s Prayer.” I don’t care if we’re not
going to Heaven. I don’t care what the bible verses say about faith.

It doesn’t matter.

I hate him. I don’t even like him. I don’t have a use for him. I’ve only
hated him, like maybe he’s a bad seed. Something to watch out for in the
pond. The kind of thing that should be left alone.

But, he’s stuck to me. I think he likes it. He’s part of me. He’s like
that piece of chewing gum stuck down my shirt, or my elbow that I rub
against my skin, and that I have to swallow. It’s got me hooked, just like
the pain in my head. But, I’ll probably kill myself for this guy.

-3-

I hate myself.

I take the pieces, and I start to pull them free from the porthole. The
next wave will probably knock over the entire deck, and I’ll be thrown to
die. Just like the captain.

But, I don’t care.

The pain in my head will be better than being killed. And, I’ll be free of
them. Free from them.

-4-

They say, love is an ocean
You can drown in it, drown in it,
But never, never can you drown in it.
-The Who, 1968

They say, love is an ocean
You can drown in it, drown in it
But never, never can you drown in it.
-Leonard Bernstein, 1968

-5-

I should have given him a funeral. I should have burned them. Burned him.
Burned their bodies. And buried them. I should have never put them back
together.

But, I didn’t choose to do it. That doesn’t mean he isn’t dead. He’s not.
If he is, I’m glad I don’t have to worry about him anymore. I won’t have to
face the possibility that they’re not right. That they chose to be angry and
disapproving of me.

But they’re right. I do have to face it. There will be consequences. I can’t
avoid them, especially not now. And I can’t fix everything.

I’m not strong enough to walk away from this. I don’t have anything close
to it. And, I don’t have what it takes to make it the best it can be.

-6-

For me, it’s always been like this.

I have my own battles in the front yard. They keep me grounded. They keep
me from flying off the handle and going crazy.

It’s not a big deal when you’re living in the suburbs. You could keep
your lawn looking just fine. But, what if your neighbors are fighting for a
couple months in the summer? How will you know if there’s a conflict going on
with the neighbors you share your wall?

You can’t see it. And even if you could, it’s not like you’ll notice. You’ll
just see the fence is pulled up, the ground is muddy, and there’s a pile of
shredded grass on the lawn.

But, if you’re a mother, you don’t like this. If you’re a mother, this is
a daily battle you have to battle with your children. You don’t get to just
walk away and let this go on, and then do nothing.

I have a different kind of battle.

I’m not a mother. I’m not a woman. I’m not even a woman to start. I’m not
part of the woman’s club. I’m not a woman with a purpose.

But, I know I never have to face this alone. I know it’s going to be a battle.

I know I can’t take the man with no battle, and he’ll get us both killed.

-7-

I don’t want to fight.

I don’t want to get my head cut off. I don’t want to burn the house down.
I don’t want to kill myself.

And, I don’t want to become like these people around me. People who look for a
reason to turn away.

-8-

I’m the guy who says, “I don’t know why we’re here.” But, somehow, I figure
it’s better than going on and on.

You know, there was a guy who said he didn’t want to be here. He said, “Why
am I here?”

I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say, “Why am I here?”
It’s like, “Where am I gonna end up?” You know?

Anyway, I don’t have anywhere to put it. I know I won’t have a purpose or
a place to go on my own. But, I still don’t want to be here.

-9-

I’ve been waiting for some kind of sign, something to show me that it was
all going to be worth it. I’ve been waiting for some kind of indication that
the end was near, that I was going to get what I wanted.

That he was going to be a father, and that we’d be happy, and that I was
doing something positive. That I was going to find a way to be better.

But, I’m still waiting.

I still don’t have it.

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