“I don’t know if I should laugh or cry,” she said. “I love your dreams.
Most of the time, they are the most awesome, sweetest, most perfect nights of
“Me too,” I said.
“I’m not going to help you,” she said. “It’s your decision.”
“The things you do, the things you say, the things you write… you are like
“I know. We have to stop doing that.”
“Maybe we should start being saints?” she asked.
“You think being a saint is bad?”
“It’s good to be a saint. It can make you feel that you are a bad person
because you are a saint.”
“Maybe being a saint is a bad thing?”
“No, but it isn’t really a good thing either.” She looked at me and smiled. “I
forget what happens next.”
“Nothing. You just start painting.”
“No, I want to paint. It’s our secret.”
“Well, it’s not secret anymore.”
“So what’s next?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I was just thinking about it and now I have to go to work.
I’m leaving you hanging.”
“I’m not hanging.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I’m not. You’re hanging so I have to go to work.”
“You’re not even listening to me,” I said.
“I’m listening because I have to go to work too.”
“You don’t get to go to work.”
“I do get to go to work. You don’t get to stay at home with me.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Sorry is different from fair.”
“Why don’t you come to my work?” I asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Come to work with me,” I said. “We’ll paint your nails.”
“I don’t have time, David. I have to go to work.”
“You have time to stay here and paint my nails.”
“Well, I can’t stay here. I have to go to work.”
“You want me to come to your work then?”
“No. I did it because it’s you.”
“David, you are not allowed to do things for me. You have to do things for
“My father is dead, Angie, I know. But his will and the other things that
people leave behind is what gives me the courage to be in the world. And he
was the most important person in my life. He was the one who gave me the
strength to be myself. I will leave something behind. I will live a life that
is my own.”
“You are my grandfather’s favorite son.”
“He didn’t love anyone as much as me.”
“I know. I’m sorry about your father.”
“I don’t need time with you. I have to go to work. I’m sorry.”
“I love you, Angie. I love you too much.”
“I love you too. I can’t ever say it enough. I love you too much.”
“What is this love thing?” she asked. “When is it going to stop?”
“It’s like a little bubble. A little bubble inside me that keeps me safe.
It’s there when I think I am about to turn around and my face is going to get
hit. I know that it’s about to happen. My eyes are filled with fear and I
can’t look back. I know that I am going to die, but I don’t care because,
well, I am going to live. Then my love bubble bursts and my eyes light up with
joy and my bubble bursts. So this love thing is a lot like a bubble and, you
know what? I love you too, Angie. I love you too much.”
“I love you so much,” she said.
“You’re crazy, Angie.”
“I’m being honest.”
“It’s very nice.”
“You are being honest.”
“Why are angels always giving me presents?”
“It’s not the angels who give the presents and I have to go to work.”
“You are so funny,” she said. “This is my favorite part of my day.”
“You love me too,” I said.
“I do. You’re my biggest fan, Angie.”
“I love you too,” she said, but then she looked up and smiled.
The sun was beginning to rise and Angie looked out the window. She loved
the view. She loved that her world is quiet, that there are birds and she
can be alone for short moments. She would do her best to spend the day by
herself. But with Angie, there was always someone waiting in the shadows.
Sometimes I’m afraid to be with her. There are moments when I feel that it is
too much to handle. But the truth is, I am with you on your worst days too.
You are the best person I’ve ever been lucky enough to know. You’ve supported
me the most, given me the most love, hurt me the most, fought harder for me
than anyone. You’ve been there for me on the worst days, in the most darkest
places, and loved me, protected me, and encouraged me. You’ve made me feel
like the most important person in my life and I’ll be with you forever. I
just feel like I have to work and then I am with you all day and I’m lonely.