It’s been a long time since I’ve written this but I’m going to tell you a little bit about my dad

on

I think my dad was born in Montana and I live in Oklahoma but I still try to
travel up and down the western United States every chance I get no I had to go
last summer and check out the old west for myself you know maybe I wanted to see
what went wrong but I don’t think I would have done it if I knew I was going to
get killed it is a long story short I was pretty drunk when I left it took me a
couple hours to get to Denver the first time then I took another one and a half
hours the second time I took another one and a half hours to finally come out to
where I was supposed to be and find that I wasn’t there, I figured that I would
be safer going back and not going out to the middle of nowhere so I left and I
went to Portland because I always go to Portland every time I go to Portland to
see my family and my friends who live there you know I never really knew my dad
he died before I was five and then my mom remarried a man named Bob Stinson and
since then she’s been widowed and lives in Reno and she’s not what I call a
great woman but she’s better than my old man and I don’t think nobody knows
that except me and my mom my mom lives in Oklahoma and she’s been married to my
dad for over 20 years now and I don’t think she’s ever had a lover in her life
what a joke but on the other hand I’m pretty sure my dad would find somebody
pretty quick, he loves me and he loves my sister he still lets us live with him
I don’t think she’s ever been in love with him or with anybody, she never has
been but even though she’s married to him she still talks to him all the time,
she calls every week on Monday and Tuesday and on Wednesday to call him and she
says “Hank” “Hey Hank I haven’t heard you on the phone in a long time”
“Well I’ve been in Portland too much lately “.
“Honey you’re wrong, well you know,” she says “well sometimes I think you’re
just going away on an adventure and every time you get home you run around in a
hurry and you don’t like what you’re doing” the last time she made the phone call
was about five years ago and I’m pretty sure my dad was going to go kill her.

Well I never got my dad to kill me no he didn’t have the guts to do it I’m
going to tell you about him and the war he was in, I’m going to tell you about
him then I’m going to tell you about the war and then I’m going to tell you
about him after the war I’m going to tell you about him because he killed my
mother and he was my father I’m still the son that he never had and I’m going
to tell you why I know this I’m going to tell you about his first wife and her
friends they were the biggest bunch of rednecks ever you know all my friends
are rednecks you know all the people on my dad’s side of the family are redneck
and they’re only good for killing and I swear I’d do something really terrible
if I ever met any of these people I’d have to kill him or my mom for sure or
she wouldn’t be alive.

My mom is a good woman she’s a nurse but she’s always been a good person, my
dad was the exact opposite but he was never a very good son and he never was a good
husband, in fact he was a very bad husband to my mom he was a very bad husband
to me and you know what I’m going to tell you about why that is, I don’t know
why I’m going to tell you about the war and why I’m probably going to die you
know and I’m going to tell you why I love you because I love you because I have
to tell you why and then I’m going to tell you about the war and then I’m going
to tell you about mom and then I’m going to tell you why I’m going to tell you
why because I love you and then I’m going to tell you about the war and how my
father killed my mother and then I’m going to tell you about everything up to
when I found out he killed my mom I mean I never found out but I would’ve killed
him if I had found out.

I don’t really understand why I’m trying to tell you all this stuff I’m not
going to do any of this stuff I’d like to but I can’t, one reason is because I
can’t get my dad back you know but on the other hand I’m still the son he
never had I’m still the son he never had I never got to know my father. I mean
you know you know where I stand on all of this you know I’d like you to know
where I stand on all of this stuff so I’m just going to tell you this here and
we’ll talk about it then and then I’m going to tell you about how I met the
guy’s I’m going to tell you about how old I was at the time he called me the
best looking cowboy in the world and how he fell in love with me and how he
didn’t know if I was his long lost son or not and the rest of it you know I’m
going to tell you what he told me and then I’m going to tell you about the
parties and the guys in charge and how they all tried to turn me into a
militia fighter for my mother, a western lawman for my mother, everything he
said to me was true it’s not bull shit, it’s the truth you know I think I’m
going to live forever if I stay away from all of this I’d be okay with it I’d
be a hundred percent okay with it but I’ve done enough, I’ve done enough.

Alright everybody listen to this and I’m really going to try to keep this short
I know this doesn’t turn out exactly the way I want it to but it’s a start and
I’m going to try to do something good with this, I’m going to try to be some
kind of a good man because I know I don’t want to die and I know this doesn’t
turn out the way I want it to but it’s the only way I know I’m going to live
forever if I run from all this stuff, the other way I’d probably die I’m just
not going to do it I’m not going to do it.

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