It’s been a year and a half since I last saw my dad, he’s been sick for a year and a half now and he is dying


In 2004 my father had to retire due to a stroke and since then he has been
living with my mom in their home and he doesn’t get around and he was never
homesick no not ever, but this fall he decided to come to California with my
mom to visit her sister in San Jose and he wanted to come with us and spend one
of his last days with my mom and the rest of the time I was gonna be there
with him, but now he couldn’t. My brother was at school and we were all at the
hospital. When my mother asked me to go and get him a wheelchair and bring him
to the hospital I didn’t really want to, but it was his last wish so I went and
went to get him the wheelchair and brought him in to the hospital, to be
examined by a neurologist.

When I got there I saw my mother sat crying and her face was so ugly, she has
gone through a lot with my dad since he has been sick, she is still a wreck,
that’s why I had to take her there, I went in the room and asked her a few
questions then the doctor came in to see him and said your dad has a brain
tumor on his brain, they take the tumor out, and in seven days he will
expire. My mom cried for what seemed like never. The doctor explained to her
that he was gonna pull the tumor out of his head and they will send her to a
hospital in a few days, that’s what she needed he said.

I was so devastated when I heard that, I couldn’t believe it, how could it be
happen, I thought we were so close I thought everything was going to be okay,
but now I was pretty sure he was gonna die. And when he did it was no longer
good but not for him it was for me, that cancer took away all his will to
fight, every time he went into surgery someone had to drive him there and take
care of him and they had to make sure his body was okay, he had to lie down
for hours, he couldn’t even open eyes, he couldn’t even eat, he was on a
constant high dosage of pain pills and by the time he returned to the
hospital everything was over, you can imagine how hard it was for my mom.

I was only 11 years old and he had worked so hard I did the best I could to
take care of him and keep him from dying. I bought him a wheelchair when I
could, and a lot of little things, but nothing mattered, in the end it was the
wheelchair that saved his life that’s why I always wanted to make him one, for
all the times I couldn’t do it. For all those times he’s told me how much he
loved me and all that stuff, but after he died he didn’t even know he was
alive, he just knew he couldn’t ever walk again and he didn’t even realize he
was sick, he just wanted me to go live with my mom, he wanted to die with his
family in the comfort of their home and never be alone again.

I always knew he always loved me and I never really knew why he was the way he
was, I never knew why he didn’t love me, it was just his nature. He was always
nice to me, and for all those times I was mean to him, he would never do that
to me, he never ever called me a bad name not even once, so I thought he was
just nice and kind. The only thing that made me think he was this bad person
was he never paid me anything for the whole year I was working for him in
Arizona because I was in his service in the army, every day he didn’t like me
he didn’t even pay for my gasoline and he never gave me money, he just spent
it on medicine for me so I never had enough money to do things he liked. I was
always getting sick and was sick and he always took care of me but never once
he called me a bad name, and his friend the sheriff called me a bad name once
and we both got in a fight and I got kicked out of school. My mom never
complained but my dad just stood by and let it happen. That’s how it started I
am not complaining and I will be thankful for anything that ever happens to me.

To me it was never about money it was never about his house, it was never about
my car, it was never about how big my bank account was, it was never about how
big my bank account was because to me that wasn’t important, I never really
thought about the money that he made either. I thought about that when I was
younger and I always wondered how much money he made but I never really
wanted to know, I felt pretty safe and pretty satisfied with him.

I always dreamed of seeing him and holding him, talking to him for hours on
weekend, but that never did get off of my mind. I never even thought about how
he was the way he was, I knew that he was a good person, a nice person, I knew
he was a good father so when I found out about his cancer I didn’t think about
him at all, when people ask me if I miss him I ask them, how could I, I could
never be without him.

I guess you might think I should be happy and that’s how I acted too, I am
happy I have a loving family and I have my parents and I am happy that I never
even had to go through a hard time in school. I just keep hoping if things
get better, if I get better. I never thought that would happen to me. My
mother always said to me, “I never thought I’d be gone, but here I am.” I
just never expected to be with him in this state, that I never expected to die
in a state that isn’t my home.

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