On Christmas day, I got into a car accident

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It took me a minute to decide what I would do, ” I will not leave with my
hands on the steering wheel. There’s no need to drive with the steering
wheel locked! I’m not a good driver, I do the road, I didn’t need the
accident on Christmas day. I can probably fix my car and I’ll just have to
drive it home and see the damage in the morning. I’ll just have to deal with
it.” I decided to call my wife and tell her of my situation. My phone rang way
too fast.

” Yes, what do you want?” My wife said.

” I got into a car accident on Christmas day.” My wife asked, “Are you
okay?”

” I don’t know,” I said, “No one saw me.”

” Oh my God!”, my wife said.

” Okay. I’ll just fix my car and go to bed.”

” No! Oh no! I don’t want you to do that. I have to drive you home.”

” I don’t mind driving. I don’t know how to drive, I need someone to drive
me home. I don’t know what the fuck is going on because of all the shit I’ve
been through. Maybe I’m being followed by a fucking psycho. The blood on my
face is all over the place and I can’t think for my life. I feel kind of
creepy and shit,” I said.

” Don’t do that! Don’t say you don’t know what’s going on,” my wife said.

” I have no clue what to do! How do I know what’s going on? I don’t know
how to drive! I mean, I am a semi-truck driver, a professional truck driver
and a professional man; a semi-truck driver, a man of the world and my
wife’s best friend. I understand how to drive but I don’t know how to drive
with blood everywhere on my face. And I’m in a car accident, that’s
probably why I don’t understand how to drive. This is probably a bad day!
Something I’ll never forget,” I said.

” Oh my God, don’t say that! What do we do?” my wife said.

” I thought I had the car fixed. What about you? Are you ok? You can drive,
can’t you? Can’t you drive home?” I said.

” No, I can’t. There’s no way. I can’t drive with blood all over me. The
blood is really starting to dry up; the wound doesn’t look like it’s going
anywhere.”

” Oh Christ! I don’t know what to say,” I said.

” I’ll be okay.”

” Don’t talk like that. I don’t want you to do that,” my wife said.

” Of course you want me to drive. I want you to drive. I don’t know what to
do. How do I know what’s going on? What do I know? What do I know? I don’t
know what to do. What do I know? All I know is, that if things get bad, I’ll
try to take you home. That’s all I need to know. I mean, I’ve never had
someone pick you up off the road before.”

” No, I wouldn’t do that. I’m not going to leave you. I feel like crap.”

” Oh, that’s nice of you to say. I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do.
I don’t know what’s going on.”

” I’m not leaving you. I don’t want you in a car crash!”

” Don’t do that! Don’t say that! I’ll be alright. I’ll be alright.”

” You couldn’t be alright! You’re in a car crash. You’re bleeding all over
your face. I don’t want you in a car crash!”

” I’m not leaving you!”

” Don’t do that! Don’t do that! That is bad!”

” I’m not going to do that,” I said, “I don’t want to leave you.”

” No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying you can’t leave me. There’s no
way I’m going to leave you.”

” My face is not the problem. My face isn’t bleeding; my face is dry. It’s
just the wind and snow. The blood is dried in my face it’s just frozen in
my car. I don’t know what’s going on, and I don’t need to know what’s going
on, because it’s none of my business. I don’t need to know what’s going on;
that’s none of my business. This is my worst nightmare, just a car accident
on Christmas eve. I don’t know how to drive with blood everywhere and I can
barely see through the blood on my face. I don’t see how we’ll get home now.
I don’t know how to drive. I don’t know how to drive a car. This is a bad
day. I don’t know how to drive with blood everywhere on my face. I don’t know
what the fuck is going on. I feel like a guy who has just come home and is
all fucked up from a car accident. That’s how I feel. I’m going to go to bed.
I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll see if I can drive you home. I can’t drive
without my wife. You’re the only person I can drive with now. I don’t know
what the fuck to do. You’re in a car accident, and you need someone to drive
you home. I don’t know how to drive. I need someone to drive me home. I don’t
know how to drive, but I need someone to drive me home.”

” Oh, that’s nice of you to say. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” my wife said.

” You’re doing good. You’re doing good. I’m sorry,” I said.

” I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I can’t drive,” my wife said, “Oh my God. Of
course you can’t drive.”

” Of course I can’t drive. I can’t drive a car and drive you home. Of
course I can’t drive. Of course I can’t drive a car.”

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